Love is the most widely used word in every relationship, many use this word without a proper understanding of what it truly is.
Many have tried to give the definition of love but most of this definition given does not really depict what love truly is. Looking at some of the various definitions given, for example; ” attraction based on sexual desire”, “affection based on admiration”, “An intense feeling of affection”, and so on. You will realize that all the definition given about love has to do with emotions or feelings. We know that emotion is a chemical reaction that takes place inside the body which therefore means that this chemical reaction comes up sometimes and at other times subsides.
True love has nothing to do with emotion or feeling. So what is true love? before looking at what true love is, we need to understand the various kinds of love and attribute meaning to each one of them.
There are four major kinds of love:-
This is the kind of love that expresses sexual desire. We can also call it erotic love. This kind of love often have a disastrous result, in the event that the loved one becomes bittered and or uninterested any more, this desire is known to drive the lover into a state of depression causing lamentation and illness.
This is brotherly love, it expresses itself by wanting to do good for someone out of concern. This kind of love brings happiness. When you do good to someone you see yourself being happy.
This love is natural, it is the kind of love that is seen among family members for example parents to children.
This is the love that places value on something or someone. The value you place on something determines how much you are willing to give for that thing. That is to say, if you place a high value on something, you will be willing to pay a high price for it and that is the sacrifice you have to make for that thing. I will say true love comes with big sacrifice and that is the price you are willing to pay.
Now having seen all the meaning of the various kinds of love, you now realize that Agape love is the true kind of love it has nothing to do with emotion but rather sacrifice as a result of the value place on something or someone.
we can now define what true love is. Like I said earlier, true love is not an emotion or feeling, true love is a response to understanding the value of something or someone. True love has to do with understanding and sacrifice. It also means a decision to commit to meet the need of another person for life without expectation. It has to do with caring for a person and or anticipating the need of a person and meet it. So when you say you love your spouse, what you are saying is that you are going to take care of her needs and expect nothing from her.
For a successful marriage and relationship, this is the love that is required.
Love is a choice, it is an act of the will. In marriage, you are committed to loving your spouse and that is why you have to make the choice to love your wife.
When you place value in your marriage. When you have value for that relationship, when you have value for your partner then you have the obligation to make that relationship work. You have the obligation to make your marriage work no matter the challenges that might come up why because of the value you place in it.
This is the foundation for a successful marriage and relationship.