Many have done a wonderful job in penning down the causes of a broken home, I have also listened to people give reasons why marriages fail. But from my careful observation and experience acquired from my many years in marriage, I have come to realize that there are only two reasons, just two reasons why marriages fail.
Every other reason that has been given no matter the numbers all bow down to these two major reasons. These major reasons are the things which if put in place in every relationship or marriage will make the marriage become highly successful. It takes two to make a relationship work if couples or partners would want to have a successful marriage, I mean wonderful marriage then, they are bound to observe these two things. It is not as if people have not heard about these two things or it’s not as if they are strange, it’s just that many have not been able to understand the application of it.
What are these two reasons:-
1. love – I will want to state here that love is a choice, you either choose to love or not to love but for you to have a successful marriage you need to make the right choice by choosing to love. Now defining what love is, I define love as a response to understanding the value of something or someone.
When you love a car or a gold watch you will be ready to pay the high price placed on the car or gold watch. This high price is as a result of the value you place on the car or gold watch which is the sacrifice you are willing to make for the car or gold watch.
So it is also in a relationship or marriage when you place a high value in your relationship or marriage and your partner you will make the sacrifice to that so that, that marriage or relationship works. You will so much cherish your partner why because you placed a high value on him or her. Many think that love is an emotional feeling but that is wrong. True love has nothing to do with emotion or feeling, true love has to do with sacrifice as a result of value placed on something or someone.
2. Submission – To submit means the voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating or yielding to. It means a wife yields her self in deference to her husband. Respect is the attitude that enables such submission. Man, by nature has an ego and this nature in a man cause a man to always demand respect from his wife. Without respect, martial submission is really hard. Respect is the attitudinal response from submission. Submission is the action that flows out of the attitude and that attitude is respect. In marriage submission and respect goes together. This doesn’t mean you necessarily agree with or approve of all his actions. It means you approach him with respect out of reverence for the fact that he is your husband.
What everyman need in a marriage is not love but respect.
Man feed on respect. It is the woman that needs love and that is why men are meant to love their wife. Men interpret respect as love. When you as a woman respect a man to him he sees it as love. He takes it that you love him. That is why a man becomes so angry when another man gets respect from his wife more than him.
The position of the man is to love, the position of the woman is to submit. Marriage is enjoyable, let there be these two things in your marriage, and you will have a successful marriage.