THREE THINGS TO BE MINDFUL OF IN MARRIAGE

Marriage is when two separate, unique, and whole persons make a covenant to exchange vows, committing themselves to remain together until death. It is one of God’s perfect plan for mankind, He established it while man was still in a sinless condition and said that it was not good for a man to do without. A perfect man who had none of the pressures or problems that we know of today still was not complete without a wife. Adam didn’t know what he was missing, It was God who initiated the whole marriage thing because that was His perfect plan. This also tells you that the woman is also not complete without the man. This all emphasizes the high priority that marriage should have in our lives. However, it has not usually held that position. The question is why is it so? The fact is, some things are meant to be a blessing in marriages but the enemy through it will want to cause crises that can ruin the marriage so it becomes very imperative that couples guide and protect their marriage. This can not be properly achieved without having some information and knowledge on how to best handle certain things that can ruin a marriage and beware of it beforehand.



Let’s Take a look at three of such things

1. CAREER
with the current economic situations, it has become of importance that both the husband and the wife should be working, be it a job or a career as this will aid in easing the financial liabilities that come with marriage. This will bring a sort of financial relief to the man.

Also because the woman is a working woman, she will know the importance of money and will be wiser in spendings.

Two incomes in a home are always good as both of you will have more savings than when it’s only the man working however when career decisions of one spouse conflict or compete with the marriage, family responsibilities, or the career of the other spouse, then know there is a problem. This is when a career comes first in the marriage. It can be very dangerous most especially on the part of the woman. This can ruin your marriage and can lead to break up if not properly handled. The job that is meant to be a blessing to the family now becomes something that is ruining their marriage. The woman fails to understand that a woman gains more happiness by being married than by having a good job.

The truth of the matter is that success or money can never make a woman as happy as love fulfilled in marriage. So the way to prioritize is marriage first, Children second and then your job or your career.

The world is full of career ladies who are happily married and respect their men so endeavor to be among these.


I believe, to be successful in the modern world, great men need to marry career ladies. However, they must be ready to help in doing household chores and be ready to stand for one another at times. Based on a recent study, it was discovered that sharing household chores is currently one of the highest-ranking factors that determine a happy marriage, especially when both couples are working.
Sharing household chores come third after good sex and faithfulness. Remember, both of you are working, which means that you share the same challenges such as fatigue, job-related stress, and time constraint. However, career women should know that men value their egos more than any other thing. Therefore, the need to encourage a man’s help in household chores. So always learn to appreciate him. Any woman who knows how to treat her man’s ego can make him do anything.

2. Family relatives
The place of in-laws in a marriage cannot be underplayed or overemphasis. In-laws are deemed as being an integral part of married couples. Family relatives occupy an important place in our lives, the wife’s family, the husband family they both are part of our lives. Normally this union with family relatives brought about by marriage makes the union of some couples very colourful and exciting, given their cooperation, understanding, assistance and willingness to let the couple make their choices and do things their own way, perhaps with subtle and controlled guidance. But in a situation whereby in-laws becomes overbearing, possessive, authoritative and excessive interference usually with the motive of protecting the interest and well-being of their relative in the marriage. In such instances, the matrimonial home could become matrimonial hell for the partner on the receiving side of the overbearing attitude of the in-law. This is now when problems come in.

In fact, this type of toxic family situation can be so disruptive to a relationship that it is often among the top reasons why couples choose to divorce.


it takes a clear understanding and agreement between you and your spouse to know when to set or enforce reasonable boundaries with your respective family relatives.

Beware of abusive, meddling, advice-giving, what you tell them about your relationship, etc. don’t allow behaviours or habits to start that you don’t want to live with for the length of your marriage. While you might not be able to stop your relatives from trying to do what they want, you can calmly refrain yourself from them to avoid crises in your home. Your marriage is for you and your spouse, not your relatives so it’s better you deal with their external interference head-on and not let it to chance because you are the one with feet in both camps, it is your job to manage the relationship with your parents. If you truly want to protect your marriage from meddling inlaws, this is a must.

You don’t have to choose between them to have a happy marriage. Your spouse may never want to have anything to do with your family but you can still be in contact with them. You will just have to adjust your expectations about when and how you see them while protecting your marriage at the same time.

Your partner and your marriage are your top priority. Protect your marriage, set boundaries, you and your spouse must clearly define the boundaries of your marriage.

Listen to your partner’s viewpoint and feelings about your family with an open mind and heart. Don’t automatically defend your family.

Don’t betray your spouse to your parents, be clear about what is okay to share about your marriage with your relatives. Do not betray your spouse’s confidences or vulnerabilities. Make sure you tell them about the positive aspects of your spouse and marriage.

These are some of the few easy things you can do to protect your marriage from meddling in-laws. While not all in-laws are bad, you should still consider this information so you don’t make a bad situation in your marriage.

It is advisable that in-laws, especially mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law respect the independence and privacy of their children so as not to frustrate the happiness of the couple.

3. Lack of contentment
Husband and wife are meant to live contently with one another and to both find satisfaction in each other. But you discover that in some marriages it is not so why because of lack of contentment. In as much as this can be seen in some men, it is more prominent in women.

How do we define what it means to be discontented in our marriage relationship? To be discontented is when one is showing a feeling of dissatisfaction with one’s spouse, the possessions the man of the house can afford and was able to provide at that particular time, and the status of the man. When a man is not contented with his wife, he goes out cheating on her. When a woman is not contented with her husband she begins to compare him with other men she thinks are doing better than her husband, she begins to talk down on her husband. One of the dangerous things to tell your husband is why don’t you be like so and so. There is nothing that kills a man’s spirit like when you begin to talk down on him most especially a man that is doing his best to take care of you and the kids. Even if a man can not provide you with all that you desire, you should take whatever he provides for you and appreciate him. Encourage and support him.

Discontentment in a marriage relationship is very dangerous.

It is a deeply, deadly, powerful, ruthless enemy that can destroy your physical life, your emotional life, and your family life if not tackled.

I am not saying you should deny yourself about wanting and desiring something good but instead to exhibits a freedom from being controlled by the feeling of those things. I am not saying you should pretend things are not the way you wanted them to be but instead display the peace that comes from knowing that with support and encouragement towards your husband, everything will fall in place.

Develop a lifestyle based on conviction, not circumstances.

Some are discontented not because they aren’t doing well but because they see others doing better or think others are doing better than them. Too often these categories of people look at what they don’t have and become dissatisfied and discontented, rather than thanking God for what they do have and being content with what their husband have been able to provide.

Be always appreciative to your husband for contentment is an attitude of the heart. Once the attitude has been modified, contentment will be evident.

Finally, beware of these three things crippling into your marriage to destroy your relationship. Like I stated at the beginning of this post that there are forces fighting the marriage institution, therefore guide and protect your marriage jealously.

Also read :

 

HOW TO KNOW IF A MAN LOVES YOU 

JUST TWO THINGS TO PREVENT MARITAL CRISIS

UNDERSTANDING LOVE

INHERENT MAKEUP OF A WOMAN 

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